


We could be strong.

by irishluff



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Gen, Introspection, Power Dynamics, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 14:15:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8105572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishluff/pseuds/irishluff
Summary: A fusion between a Jasper and a Lapis Lazuli should never exist.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this work is dedicated to gabe, my problematic fave :*

She's Jasper, just another Jasper, one of a thousand mined in a kindergarten, interchangeable. Designed to be mass produced and thrown away, a starving gem made by the losing side of a war, a desperate attempt to get numbers. Except, not _her_. She's Jasper, she's the Jasper that made it out, the one pure, perfect specimen to come out of this worthless earth. She's the Jasper that survived beyond the war, the one that proved she's worth her weight, who watched a thousand sisters come out of the earth malformed and who crushed every one of them to get where she is. Some how she, Jasper, a salt of the earth gem that's only perfect by accident, gets in a fusion with Lapis Lazuli.

(It's wrong, she knows it is, but it's this planet, it makes you do awful things. She knows because she's made of it and that's all she ever does.)

A fusion between a Jasper, an expendable foodsoldier, and a Lapis Lazuli, a high class gem with unique, valuable abilities, one that has never in her life needed to prove she's capable of the job she was mined for, should never happen, and the moment she does it Jasper knows why. Because she's a Jasper, just another Jasper, the most perfect Jasper to ever exist, a robust quartz soldier built for brute strength, realizing in an instant that she's never known true strength until this very moment.

  
It's intoxicating, the feeling of this power, and she craves it like a junkie even as she desperately, unsuccessfully claws at the corners of the fusion. Because, see, this isn't the strength of a Jasper and it's never been hers to wield, she just knows it's there because she's in that head too. She takes secondhand scraps of it as she tries to find some break in Lapis’s insurmountable strength, some way she can taste this on her own tongue.

* * *

 

  
Lapis Lazuli, poor, poor Lapis Lazuli, she who just keeps getting caught on the wrong side of the war. All these fancy powers, all these titles and duties, but none of them saved her from thousands of years of imprisonment. A weak, tired coward whose specialty is a set of wings to fly as far away as she can, find one place where maybe she can get some much needed rest. She's so tired of war. She doesn't care, can't bring herself to care anymore, it's all just fighting and somehow she's definitely going to lose. So, why not? She gets in that fusion with Jasper because there's no reason she shouldn't anymore, she's never going to be free anyway but maybe she drag someone along for the ride and benefit someone that's not yet a lost cause.

(If Steven can make it out of this it doesn't matter if she ever sees the light of day again, he's still got half a chance.)

She agrees because she has no choice and she has nothing to lose anymore and she expects to be miserable every second, but then they fuse and she feels Jasper, the perfect soldier, the one that's never had to live in a cage, squirming at the edges of her mind. Not just any Jasper but _the_ Jasper, the most perfect Jasper to ever exist, who’s made of strength and never had to bow to anyone she didn’t want to, feels like a fly slamming its body against a window. She feels control over her, and suddenly she knows what true strength is.

And suddenly, she understands. She becomes everything she hates and revels in the feel of Jasper's desperation, grins as she slams the window shut on the terrified fly, she understands now why people kept putting her in cages, it's because it feels good. It's not always easy, of course. The longer she holds, the harder Jasper pushes. But even when she’s getting tired she can hold on, she can draw vindictive strength, because she knows she’s the one in control now, and she likes it, and she’ll be damned if she ever lets go of that ever again.

* * *

 

Jasper screams inside Malachite's mind and Lapis Lazuli laughs. Lapis Lazuli falters for a millisecond in her mirth and Jasper sinks her teeth into the fracture, tears apart everything she can find. Lapis Lazuli screams. Jasper laughs. Lapis Lazuli gathers up her broken pieces and staples them together with anger and yanks back against Jasper so hard it feels like she's leaving a piece of her behind, but it doesn't matter. She wins. She doesn't care anymore if she lives or dies or even exists, she cares about winning, that's it.

And Malachite? Malachite just loves the feeling of being alive.

* * *

 

They unfuse and both feel relief at first, because finally, finally they have their freedom, they can rest. But then it happens, the loneliness creeps in, and they have to remember what it’s like to be weak. They can’t help but miss those nights when all they had was claws and thrashing teeth and **strength** in the prison of their own minds, nothing but hate and the weight of an ocean keeping them down.


End file.
